Ya don’t get something for nothing…
I was foolish. I admit it. I thought someone was just doing me a favor and not expecting anything in return.
I was mistaken. Here was the deal, I had a few dates with a guy and he was going away for 3 weeks. He offered me a loan of his car. I just moved to a new place and sold my car. I needed the help. I prayed for help with my transportation needs, and here it was, just like that, an answer to my prayer. A car loan for 3 weeks! I would be crazy not to take it?
First off, I said to myself… who the fuck gives someone their car when they barely know them? Especially for such a long period of time while they are away. This guy is either really nice or just crazy. Then I said to myself this guy must really like me and wants to show me that he can do something nice without expecting anything in return. As it turns out… as the weeks go on I don’t really feel anything for the guy. I thought he was a nice guy, I thought he was decent, but I just didn’t feel a spark. I just did not get the butterflies when his number showed up on my phone. I just didn’t feel like I missed him at all while he was away. I just felt like it was more of a duty to report to him my whereabouts because I had his car. I felt like when I missed a call or text from him I was immediately inundated with this underlying sense of guilt …his needy-ness…why wasn’t I responding, what was I doing that was more important than answering him, why didn’t I need to be in touch with him the way he was feeling the need to be in touch with me.
I could not quiet put my finger on it. I thought maybe it’s because I was stuck in the past and sentimental to my exe. I thought maybe it’s because I am in a transition place in my life and I just don’t have the time and energy to invest in someone else, or maybe it’s because he is too nice and there is just no challenge. No build up. The over availability to be honest was a total turn off. Like get a life, do you even have any other friends? Why are you so dependant on me to communicate 24-7? I have a lot of stuff going. Was I being wrongly outright annoyed, was I making up excuses or was it bluntly that I just didn’t like him that way? If I really liked him, I’d totally make time.
I have been extremely honest with the guy… I am not interested in a relationship right now, I am really trying to sort some stuff out, dating should be fun and not demanding at this stage for me, I have a kid who is my main focus, I have some baggage from past relationships, I am not looking for a sexual relationship…etc could not have been more blatant.
I don’t want to lead the guy on. I didn’t take his offer to continue to use his car when he returned…told him it was not right or fair. No big deal, or so I thought. A few texts unanswered from him this week-end and mofo gets all pissy with me for not responding and tells me he deserves more than a silent fuck you.
So I ask him what does he expect me from me, what does he think he deserves. I spent over 200 dollars on the guy, filling the tank up which I got the car on a quarter tank and a car wash and some meals to say thanks and he has the audacity to call me a “fucking leech”. I purchased the meals while I was not working I might add. So yeah buddy the widowed single mom who took you up on your nice offer and said thanks in normal ways is a total leech. You called it. Loser. I was right from the start this guy is a fucking nut.
I am almost writing this blog post as a public announcement that someone who has some authority wants to make me “pay” for not liking him, because I never put out for the loan of the car. True colours shown. He is a bitter prick. He gave me the car in hopes of getting “some” even when all of the tell-tale signs were there that it wasn’t going to happen, he remained in blissful denial. Then to try and salvage his ego he furthers to go on that “news flash” he was not interested and I should “get over myself”. I’m trying not to point out the glaring obvious that if he really felt this way he would have taken the hints and the hike a while ago. I just state the facts: I never asked him to loan me his car, I told him I was not interested in him romantically, I told him it was a very kind and generous offer but that I was not going to pay him back with any special favors. I blocked him from Facebook and Twitter so I have a good feeling he will be stalking my blog. And since he has now ruffled my feathers on an otherwise quiet night with his bullshi cruses and insultst, after I was trying to let him down gently for a total of 5 weeks and he did not like the silent fuck off treatment, here is my very public – Fuck You!
Readers- if there is something you can’t exactly put your finger on about someone, wait it out a bit you will see the pig eventually squeal. Sometimes our inner voice tells us something that our head and our hearts outright refuse to hear. When you get a sense about something is off about something or someone it usually is as you suspect- too good to be true. Moral of the story, always follow the gut.