Monthly Archives: June 2012
This is a message I sent to someone I know very well but I share it with the world because it is a universal message.
One people, one world, one love.
Strength is admitting where you were weak. Courage is doing what you should even when it hurts or you are faced with fear. Faith is knowing the difference between destiny and choice. And love is strength, courage and faith. And loving (and forgiving) and having understanding for your enemies and those who wrong you is divine. Stop avoiding your inner self, (face hurt and fear and move forward). Be strong, courageous and faithful and loving and don’t just tell yourself you are. Show it to everyone you encounter. Positive thoughts, actions and words. (We all have the power to do great things for ourselves and humanity- we all just need the conviction to get out of our own way).
Be smart, brave and kind in this world people. It’s not always easy, but one love.
I think in navigating the world as a single lady it’s important to nail down what love and relationships and passion mean to me. So here are my confessions, the confessions of a bold single sally who is truly a romantic at heart. I admit I do admire physical beauty and attractiveness but a person’s appearance does blind me to the beauty in his soul.
My preference first off is straightforward simplicity in a relationship. I want my partner to tell me the truth at all times. In return, I am scrupulously honest even when if it hurts. My energies are vigorous and enthusiastic, and in a love I place the highest value on spiritedness and the setting to affect my mood. Pretentiousness is not required but genuine caring and expressions of love always keep me feeling lovely tell my mother. However that said, I need a partner who will respond to tenderness as much as passion and someone who deals with problems by getting to the heart of the matter to come up with solutions. While I can be attracted to individuals who are well-known and who are outstanding in their professional field I mean I like success and ambition, but respect that these measures are not all that matter. I insist to make a distinction between my partner’s personal needs and emotions and his achievements or reputation. I would be most satisfied with an all-around person whose accomplishments and qualities are not just physical but extend in many directions.
It is not the specifics of loving that hooks me in, as much as it is the sheer joy of mutual participation. Finding out about his likes and dislikes keeps things interesting for me, so if there is nothing to learn, things fall flat and so the uneventful relationship becomes boring for me. The continual change and growth is what keeps me interested and creative in love and relationships, the turbulence of passion rocks my world, as long as no one is getting hurt, and we both know where we stand. I feel like it is the push and pull which helps bring out the best each-other, or at least it should.
Love is endless for me. Once I love you I always love you. Even if that love changes. I do not normally rush into a love affair; instead prefer to build it more strategically and in careful stages. I don’t commit lightly, but when I give my word, I stand by it, particularly to a commitment given in love. I am more comfortable with a long-term affair it gives me plenty of time to structure the relationship. I have an infectious quality about me, and will say I am an introverted yet very social at the same time. The extremities require periods of robustness as well as retreat. I am a born leader in good times and bad. I require my partner to be my equal.
I am most adept at caring and feeding the mind, body and soul of my lover, and I will go to great lengths to find out exactly what makes them happy. I spend a lot of effort to provide that happiness in whatever way I can, and will go over the top for those that deserve it. At times I have done this too much so, at the risks of my own likes and dislikes. Giving and receiving gifts is about being thoughtful, and particularly hand-made presents, is very a potent expression of love for me. That homemade card melts my heart. The boutique of wild flowers might as well be a dozen red roses. A photo album or play list keeps me in those moments when my love is not with me. Most men are not as observant as me, but I won’t hold that against anyone who at least makes an effort. I put the highest value on a lover who reciprocates this type of show don’t tell mentality
I am a person of great emotional substance. I am a friend and lover that can always be depended on, even in difficult times. I have an excellent shoulder to cry on. I am not easily or quickly angered, but once provoked justify, I am a formidable antagonist. While I forgive, I have a long memory. A patient and understanding partner who is not easily put off is likely best suited.
Love, passion and relationships are like sports; stamina, strength and rules are required. Unlike sports no one is out to win or lose.
Sincerely- Single Sally. Holding out for Mr. Right
Faith in tough times is the strongest faith of all.
Belief in the higher power will help overcome all adversities.
I do not need any external affirmations as to my skills, talents and abilities, I just need to believe in myself.
I am grateful for what I have, and this is exactly what I need at this moment.
A sneak peak of pics from event I was lucky to take part in on Friday in lovely Falmouth NS!
Go Turbine go!
www.turbine.ca follow: @TurbineFashion this week at Atlantic Fashion week!
I am reflecting on the relationships I have had, to envision a relationship I am going to have next. I have had 4 major deals where at least the term boyfriend was asserted in the process. I am a few years away from 30. So this is likely a decent tally. I can honestly say, I still care about them all. There is something about me that is very exposed in life, but very guarded in love. All of these men got me to take down my walls in one way or another. So for that they all hold a little place in my heart.
The one thing I can thank my boyfriends of the past for is learning life lessons. ;essons are so key to personal growth. I am going to recollect the ones I have chalked up as a reminder of lessons I wish to not re-learn in the future.
Boyfriend #1: Patients is a virtue and compatibility is longevity. With this Mr. I was just ready to move forward from the moment I fell for him in freshman year. It was a 3 year long distance relationship and I was ready to take it to the next level once we were in the same postal code. His next girlfriend got the apartment, dogs and wedding. Sometimes to make the long haul- you need to slow down and enjoy the ride. This guy also taught me a lot about self-discipline and financial planning. I was a total flower child and he was in the navy. I am still a child of the earth and he is married and still in the navy. I wish him well and think of him and his family often.
Boyfriend #2: Romantic love and responsibility are not one in the same. I first fell for this guy when I was 14. There was something majestic about the first feelings of like and lust in relation to forming romantic love. We never got around to being in a real adult relationship until after Bf #1. But I cared so deeply for him. I felt like he was my soul mate. He is the father of my child, and taught me about family love. At the end of the day I took this lesson fully and highlighted my responsibility as a mother, which meant my love for him had to take a backseat. This man taught me that no man or the love I have for him, is greater than the love I have for my child. I could not save him from himself, because I had to save myself from him for her. I’m glad he is no longer in pain from his addictions and rests peacefully. Maybe the best thing he could have done was leave when he was not the father, friend, and lover that we needed.
Boyfriend #3: This guy came along at the right place and at the right time. I needed to live again and not just be alive. He was nothing like the person I pictured myself with. He was cool, fun, and friendly, and musically talented, and his family was amazing so he locked me down with no other good rational to say no. After the bad vibes from the in-laws on BF2 this guy had the total package coming from a fine bunch of folks who welcomed Ateam with open arms. I felt a part of something with him, it was new and nice. The issue with this relationship was maturity, motivation and ambition. The lesson I learned here is the more you push something onward, the more it stays exactly where it is. In love and life- it is about going with the natural flow. I wish this guy well on his journey to figuring it all out, and I hope he discovers confidence in his talent. I see him around and still keep in touch with his folks.
Boyfriend #4: Where to begin. If BF#3 wasn’t my type, this guy certainly was not. Two words: alpha male. I’m such a patriarchal female; I tend to go for the awesome yet under the radar type guy. Honestly this relationship was about forces of nature with a lot of attraction and repulsion. In this relationship I learned many of the lessons over again that I learned with BF 1-3. It was as if, I’d never learned them at all the first time. I also learned that when you play with fire, you are bound to get burned. I learned that to remain optimistic blindly in love is to allow your hand to stay on a red hot burner while you say what’s that burning smell? And really its a recent reminder of the dangers of falling in love, and allowing yourself to be exposed and vulnerable in the process. I also learned that while change is certainly possible for everyone, it’s highly unlikely for many of us. I can’t help but think of this man often, his alpha male objects are all around me to act as constant reminders. The main lesson here is to hold out on what you hold close.
So dear universe, done with learning lessons in love and done with reminiscing about Boyfriends of Christmas Past. I know where I have been; please show me where I am going. The final installement can be lovey tell your mother- thanks.