Let’s Talk About Sex
Sex is without a doubt a biological instinct- the drive in the almighty mating game. Sex for much of human existence has been about reproduction at its fundamental core, although this epistemic is definitely being expanded by individuals who have certain obstacles to navigate sex in this regard. For people who engage with partners capable to reproduce, all fantasy and fluff from Cosmo and other mainstream media aside about sexy this, and sexy that, sex and subsequently birth control have one thing, in common, and it’s pretty unsexy, but pretty darn cute if you ask me. That one thing is babies. Even when Salt and Pepper talk about sex it ends in baby. Sex and babies just generally go together.
Any recovering Catholics should promptly go to a corner and cower jut saying. Birth control is just an option, in making sex not equal babies and one that does not always work, (love ya kiddo- happy you beat the odds!). Sex and babies these days for women really is just a choice. But I’m overwhelmed with this all today. Babies. The miracle of life! The sheer awesomeness of creation! Its topical two fold I welcome a new baby into my family, my very first lovely little lady niece. I am so happy. But also feeling a big case of the, this is a big deal reminder because last week I had a doctor’s appointment because I am considering being fixed, spaded or neutered, if you will- (see above brackets, plus I was a tube baby- I know it’s somewhat flexible by fate). Some kids are meant to be here so be it, but if you can prevent one unplanned, that’s spectacular right?
For many reasons fixing myself seems to be a fiscally responsible and medically sound option. Let’s face it this puma is not getting any younger. Pushing 30 in less than 5-10. Hello- goodbye, youth! Who has energy for small children late in life and careers? The cost of livng has exloided who can afford more than one solo and also having a child already, I understand that parenting requires a lot more than love, it’s the real deal. You need to be smart, brave and kind 24/7 to be a parent. There are no guarantees you will not have to do it alone, for all of some part of it. So all you mamas and papas and mamas and papas need to be put on those big girl panties. Being a real parent means no I in us, and no me in we. It’s also not a dress rehearsal.
My doctor points out that I am not hard to look at during my consultatin and that I may find a partner who wants children. I hate hearing this. Like shut the F up. Of course this thought lingers a little longer than it should. If I am thinking get me out of this room before he proceeds to say my odds for finding the best partner to mate with should be targeted to someone not as good looking as myself to increase my odds of not being a single parent twice. I wish I recorded this convo, and that I had a barf bag. I make up an exucse why I have to go but will book my appointment on the way out. The convo me remember when I was still grieving, a very fine looking doctor that was interested in me, asked me if I wanted more children after tracking me down to secure a lunch date. I was sort of shocked he was so forward on the issue. And at the end of a lunch date. My response at the time was along the lines of the lines of I guess I could consider it for the right person. This sentiment is sort of haunting me now. Leave it to to the dam male doctors to talk about babies like they have any real empathy for this condition. All this baby and birth control talk, I just feel baby bombarded.
Maybe it does not matter about the what ifs, maybe I just do what feels sound right now, and maybe any partners I’m with in the future can accept not planting a seed. I don’t have a committed partner at the moment, I’m finishing my masters and re-launching my career pot graduate studies and I’m super motivated to live every day. This is my time to get going, the first 5 years have been dedicated to my daughter. I am ready to help her grow up and not need me as much so I can make our way in the world.
Hurm. Life. Reproductive rights. Choices. Chance and fate. Figuring out the odds.
Posted on May 29, 2012, in Political and tagged birth control, choices, let's talk about sex, life stages, reproduction, reproductive rights, single parenting. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.