Bully, bully, bully – yeah!
Posted by lovelytellyourmother
Ok enough with the Bully BS. It’s a pink ribbon band wagon all over again. It makes me sick for several reasons. And no I am not saying I support bullying. But I think these messages are not crafted to the benefit of society and are aimed at the wrong people.
For starters, children are impressionable; being a bully is learned behavior, either through parents, or peers or external factors. The campaigns for Anti-bullying are reversing the discrimination onto a group of individuals who are not capable of better handling situations which require diplomacy and mindful communication. We all face disputes; it is how they are handled which ultimately leads to bullying or no bullying per say. If the only thing that a child sees is acts of aggression and anger that is all they know. Whose fault is that? Parents, check yes. Society, check yes? Entertainment marketed towards children that are violent and aggressive, check yes. Teachers who bully children in class rooms, check yes (I have seen this first hand in almost every grade). A disheartening recent example of teachers setting the stage for modeling bully behavior being the autistic child whose father put a wire on him, and while he is pleasantly recounting the sculptures in the library his teacher calls him a little bastard for not looking at the books. I hope that kid becomes the next freakin Bill Gates. The media that make heroes out of criminals again, check yes.
Let’s go back and address the language surrounding the issue, Anti-bullying… double negative. The last time we heard Anti anything it was Anti-Semitism. Which draws on a host of sentimentalities, so why pull that kind of speak out of the crept? Am I the only educated person alive seeing how this is all playing out? It’s a continuation in the cycles of fear. Identifying the bad guys versus good guys, and boy oh boy, make sure everyone thinks the bad guys are the real villains. If not, the public might actually point the finger at the people who are actually responsible.
Why are there no campaigns such as: Be Nice or follow the Gold Rule? I mean heaven forbid we actually create a initiative to promote positivity or productivity to combat the real underlying social epistemic of bulling, such as diversity, and social class division. The answer to why there is no positive spin on this issue is that those driving the messages from the highest level of governments and education administrations are doing so because they want to continue to instill fear. And fear is exactly what will continue the vicious cycle of bullying. I mean my main earth man David Suzuki was recently bullied to leave his own charitable board. This problem is not just an issue on the playground.
10 steps from a parent, former victim of bullying, and an advocate for anyone who cannot help themselves…
1. Be positive. Think positive. Act positive.
2. If you can’t be positive or at least neutral, take a time out. (Bigs and littles alike).
3. Accept and appreciate differences. You don’t have to be a cheerleader, just be accepting.
4. Understand how children learn behavior; model your behavior for how you want these humans to treat you when you’re vulnerable as them (like say in the old folk’s home).
5. When you see bully behavior, politely remind people of the golden rule without being confrontational say, “would you like to be treated this way?”
6. When the bullies are identified know that they hurt others because they are deeply hurting, or are motivated by fear or greed. Help them stop harming others to make themselves feel better.
7. Stop using the language steeped in fear and discrimination to solve social problems.
8. Parents- get to know your children- talk to them. Older children, be role models for younger children.
9. Change the cycles of sadness and abuse. Public be extra kind to the children who have it the worse.
10. Always remember as a society, we are only as strong as how we treat the weakest members. This includes the bullies.