The last conversation on parenting

Public voice, or private?

It’s really hard to say.

The fine line between the two,

are more blurred every day.

Not much else can help.

Thinking I cursed myself.

Heart hanging on a shelf.

Be careful what you wish for,

more or less.

I just wanted your love.

And for you to be well.

This is not the story,

I wanted to tell.

I’m sorry baby girl.

I don’t know,

what else to say

but addiction has taken

daddy away.

He was sick.

He went missing.

He went astray,

and was found on

Valentine’s day.

I’m so sorry.

He fell upon

a final frozen gate,

meeting a selfish fate,

making all our hearts break.

Every hour begs the question;

To the rhyme or reason,

for this earthly treason.

A young future – so bright!

Unfilled.

Because you lack;

breath,

air,

life.

We have to believe

that this is all just

what was meant to be.

You are never coming back,

but we are still a family.

But still I am so alone with

my thoughts,

my baby girl-

who is the center

of my world.

Maybe after 5 years,

I am just still grieving.

And in too much of a hurry,

to bury,

the ashes, ashes, ashes.

I need you to be strong.

I need you to carry on.

You were right.

I was wrong.

But death

by addiction

is not the

end of your song.

Please be practical.

Please be wise.

Towards your disposition,

I can empathize.

I’m very sorry,

I had to leave in this way.

it was never my intentions

to die on that day.

You have time on your side,

To find the words,

 that are right,

to share with our girls

about that last night.

Don’t worry yourself

too much today,

when the time is right.

you will know

just what to say.

I’m so sorry,

it was not, a great time to go.

But please for us all

let the sorrow go.

Wishing me well,

was not a cruise,

that you

bestowed upon me.

Live your life.

Be happy.

Be free.

I love you all forever.

But I bid my farewell,

 to you my family.

You are gone,

from this physical world,

but always so alive in my heart.

The memory of you,

will never part.

Don’t worry,

I’ll figure out just what

to say.

When the darling girl

asks someday.

Thank you for saying this

tune is not the end of my song.

We will carry your love all along.

I will try to find comfort

that your pain is gone.

Rest easy now,

my ice angel.

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About lovelytellyourmother

CEO of A-Team Inc. Smart. Brave. Kind.

Posted on February 18, 2012, in Poetry and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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